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Family and Criminal Law Blog

Thursday, April 30, 2020

How to Tell Your Kids You Are Getting a Divorce

Reaching the decision that divorce is the best choice for your family is one of the most difficult decisions you may ever have to make. What can feel even more difficult, however, is telling your children that you are getting a divorce. This is a critical conversation that can not only set the tone for how the family deals with the divorce process, but how your family handles post-divorce life. It will likely be a tough conversation no matter what, but here are some tips to making the conversation a bit smoother.

How to Tell Your Kids You Are Getting a Divorce

Before you tell your kids you are getting a divorce, try to get on the same page about it with your spouse. This is often easier said than done, especially in particularly contentious divorce cases, but making the extra effort to make this happen is very important. Presenting a united front when you tell your kids about the divorce will help foster a sense of security with your kids during an uncertain time for them. It will help them see that you can still co-parent even after the divorce. Sit down with all of your children together and present your decision as it was a decision you both reached together. Keep it concise and to the point. Avoid any sense of bitterness and resist the urge to start hurling accusations. This conversation is about the kids and how you both will love them no matter what.

While you may have children of various ages, it would be a good idea to still sit down with all the kids at once and have this conversation. The kids can use each other as a support system. If, however, you are worried that an older child may have a strong, outspoken, negative reaction to the news, it may be best to have the conversation with them separately to avoid upsetting the younger children. In any case, come up with a plan for what you both want to say during the conversation. Improvising in such an important conversation is not the best course of action.

Be prepared for their reactions to the news. No matter how tactfully you convey the news, there are likely to be some strong emotional reactions. There will likely be crying. There may be yelling. These are all normal reactions. Also know that processing the news will take time. It will come with different emotions and ways to cope. You know your child. Watch them for how they seem to be handling things. Make space when needed. Give extra hugs whenever you can.

You should also be prepared for follow-up questions. Some will come right after relaying the news. Some will come later on as the news sinks in. Try and anticipate these questions and discuss how to approach the answers with your spouse. The conversation is really just setting the stage for a continuous dialogue with your children about the divorce.

Divorce Attorneys

The divorce process is filled with difficult decisions. It is filled with difficult conversations. The dedicated divorce attorneys at Navarrete & Schwartz are here to help make the process as easy as possible for you. We will zealously represent your best interests and stand by your side every step of the way. We are proud to serve the residence of Midland, Texas. Contact us today.


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